He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
