To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
