I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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