He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
