I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
