Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(334): View more from Alabama

I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.

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(503): View more from Oregon

well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.

Fav 16 1400 4473
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.

Fav 2 1092 812
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.

Fav 2 1176 877
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(727): View more from Florida

This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus

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(714): View more from California

Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I threw up in my brother's Easter basket

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(863): View more from Florida

Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.

(813): View more from Florida

What. The. Fuck.

(863): View more from Florida

Family acid trip.

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