OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
