Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You may now shotgun with the bride
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize