do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My liver is preforming stress tests.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
