If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I think people are normalizing furries
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
