At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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