dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
