my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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