last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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