I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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