batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I know her cup size but not her name....
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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