Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
