It's like God shit irony all over that family
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
