P.S. I can't hear my feet
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
