I want to have your abortion
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
