What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
