me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
