I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
