Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
