Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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