Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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