Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
