so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
