I just saw a hot homeless man
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
