During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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