you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
