This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
