My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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