I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
