Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
