You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
