So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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