afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
