i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
