on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize