I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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