I cockslap morals
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
