I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
