we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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