I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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