Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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