Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
