This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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