At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
