The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
