I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
