Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Me too!
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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