thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
