How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
