VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
