My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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