trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
