anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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