he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
