Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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