She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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