doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
