I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
