You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
