We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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