Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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