i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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