My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
