i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he fucked my hip out of place.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
