dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize