So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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