you traded sex for a burrito?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
