i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
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