you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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