my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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