ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
