You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
